Untold Stories
by foxfire222
Summary: Just a few of the things that were said in the show but never shown and a few that i think should have been shown just for the coolness of it. please enjoy the show...er...fic. no pairings of any kind but lots of parental feelings towards Radar by other
1. Chapter 1

First day on the job and Radar was scared to death. He had just arrived on a bus and was dropped in front of the gate that lead to the 4077th MASH unit. He stood there with his bags in each hand and felt so alone. He started to slowly walk into the camp and look around. The place was filthy and a mess. It looked about the same as the farm he lived on in Iowa. He was just walking along when he heard someone yell, "FOUR" and then a golf ball hit him in the back of his head and everything went dark.

"Hey kid, wake up." said a voice in the darkness

"Ma, is that you?" Radar asked

"Yes dear, time to get up for school." said the voice sarcastically

Radar opened his eyes to see a kind face silhouetted against the blue sky above. The face was scruffy and had a five o'clock shadow. His hair was short, shaggy, and black, and his eyes were as blue as the ocean. The strange thing was the man was wearing a blue Hawaiian shirt and a pair of shorts. Radar sat up and saluted, "Corporal O'Reilly, reporting for duty sir."

The man sighed, "If you ever salute me again I'll hit you." the man helped him up, "Call me Hawkeye. Welcome to the 4077th. The rat hole of Korea."

Radar chuckled, "Thanks Hawkeye sir." Radar stuck out his hand, "Please call me Radar."

"Why Radar?" asked Hawkeye as he lead Radar to the biggest building

"Cause sometimes I know stuffs gonna happen before it happens." Radar said before stopping in his tracks and holding the back of Hawkeye's shirt as a jeep sped by where they would have just been standing. "Kinda like that." he said with a smile

Hawkeye smiled, "Handy." Then he lead Radar into the office of the main building and into an office where an older man sat hunched over on a desk overflowing with papers. The man looked up from under his fishing hat

"What do you want Peirce?" the man asked

Radar jumped forward, "Colonel Blake sir?"

"Yes." the man said as he looked up with a sigh, "And you are?"

"Corporal O'Reilly sir, your new company clerk." Radar said as he saluted

"At ease soldier." Blake sighed happily, "Your just in time, I was about ready to drown in all this paperwork."

"I'll get started right away sir, just run off and relax for a few hours and I'll take care of everything." Radar said as he ran over and started to collect papers

6 hours later

Radar was finishing setting up his bunk when Henry Blake came in. When he saw Radar he opened his mouth and before he could speak Radar said, "I found them earlier and put them on your desk."

Blake froze and blinked, "What?"

"Your glasses sir, you were going to ask about then right?" Radar asked as he followed Blake back into his office carrying a few papers

"How did you know I was looking for them?"

"Well, sometimes I know what's gonna happen before it happens, that's why folks call me Radar." Radar said as he held out some papers, "Sir, I need you to sign these papers for me so I can send in the supply requisitions and the rations order."

Blake was to confused to understand but signed anyway. Radar then saluted, "I finished my work for the day sir. Permission to explore the camp."

"Permission granted Radar." Blake said as he got out some whiskey

Radar looked all around the camp until it got dark out. He was just outside a tent with a sign over it that said Swamp when a voice said, "Halt and turn."

Radar turned with his hands in the air and then his jaw dropped. Before him stood a man in a pink polka-dotted dress and a sun hat. This would have been enough to scare the poor country boy but the rifle in the mans hand made it even worse, "Please, don't shoot me. I don't know the password. But I belong here, honest I do."

"How do I know that." the man said as he pushed his gun forward

Just then the door to the tent labeled Swamp opened and Hawkeye stepped out in a red bath robe, "Klinger, what's going on out here?"

"Please mister Hawkeye sir, tell this nut I belong here." Radar said in a whimper

"Klinger, put the gun down before the kid wets his pants." Hawkeye said

The man now known as Klinger did just that, "I'm sorry kid, didn't mean to scare you. Just doing my job." the man held out his hand, "Names Klinger, what's your name?"

Radar then realized he still had his hands up in the air and lowered them with embarrassment, "Call me Radar."

Klinger then skipped off in his white heels and Radar looked over at Hawkeye, "Why was that guy in a dress?"

"Come on in and I'll give you the rundown on this place." Hawkeye said as he motioned for Radar to follow him inside

"But sir, that's an officers tent. Are you an officer?" Radar asked

"Unfortunately I'm a Captain. Now come on in before I have to give you an order." Hawkeye said

Radar followed him into the tent and gasped at how filthy it was. An unfamiliar voice said, "Welcome to our home sweet Swamp. Name's Trapper, and you are?" a man with curly red hair and dark eyes stuck out his hand

"Name's Radar sir." Radar said as he saluted instead of taking the hand

"Put that down before you hurt yourself kid." said Trapper as he took Radar's hand and shook it before placing a martini glass in it

Radar thought it was water, it looked like water, so he drank it all in one big gulp. Seconds later he was coughing a sputtering, "Holy cow, what is this stuff?"

Hawkeye was rolling around on his bunk laughing his head off while Trapper was hunched over in his chair. Trapper managed to get his stuff together and said, "It's homemade gin. It's a whole 3 hours old."

"Sir, why do you sirs drink this stuff?" Radar asked

"When the first casualties come in you'll know why and you might even join us." said Hawkeye in a somber voice, "So, you wanted to know about Klinger, right?" Radar nodded, "Well Klinger will do about anything to get out of here. He is just crawling after a section 8, a psycho. He started walking around naked but once it got cold he switched to dresses and heels. As for Colonel Blake, he's a bit strange. I think he's more screw loose then Klinger at times. The nurses are pretty nice and smell great to boot." Radar blushed, "Ah, you noticed. The head nurse is a bit high strung but cute as a button. Currently she and our roommate Frank Burns are having a little tango."

"You mean…golly." said Radar as he blushed, "I thought we weren't supposed to do stuff like that."

"We're not. But no one really follows those rules. The first thing to learn is that this is not the army, this is a MASH. Nobody except Major Frank Burns takes any of that army stuff seriously." Radar yawned, "Now why don't you go off to bed kid. You look bushed."

"I think I'll do that sirs, goodnight." Radar said as he yawned and left the tent. Once he was in the clerk's office where his bed was set up he looked around. After he was sure no one was around he pulled his teddy bear out of his bag and drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Radar shot up from his bed as a strange new word shouted in his head. It was the voice that told him what was gonna happen. The word was CHOPPERS. Then Radar realized what that meant and ran out of his room and to the Swamp. He banged on the door, "Captain Hawkeye sir, choppers." then the sound of the choppers could be heard coming over the horizon

A voice came over the PA system, "Attention all personnel, incoming wounded."

Radar was just lost in all the panic that covered the yard as people ran to and fro. He was just about to sit down and give up when Henry Blake yelled, "Radar, give me a hand with this litter."

Radar ran over and as he picked up one end of the litter he looked at the person on it. At the sight of the soldier with his arm missing and his stomach wide open he almost dropped the litter right there, "Oh gee sir, what happened to him." Radar felt like he was gonna be sick

"The war happened to him." said Henry as he laid the man down. Radar helped carry in more wounded and it took all he could to not be sick. After 4 hours of surgery and when post-op had just started Radar finally had a chance to run out of the room. He didn't see Trapper following him out the door. 

Radar ran all the way back to the Swamp but before he could make it he knew he was gonna be sick so he changed course. He ended up next to the tent, bent over, and emptying his guts all over one of the many foxholes around camp. As his shoulders heaved up and down he felt a hand rub his back and Trapper's voice saying, "That's it kid, let it all out."

When Radar had finished he turned and latched onto Trappers middle, "Sir, how do you take it all?" Radar asked as he cried onto Trappers shirt front

Trapper held Radar in a hug and rubbed his back some more, "I don't really know what to tell you kid. You just get used to it after a while I guess."

Radar clung to Trapper for dear life, "But all the blood, all the shrapnel, all the moans and groans. I mean I knew there would be wounded, but all this, it just, I mean, oh gee." Radar kept crying as Trapper lead Radar into the Swamp and laid him down on Franks cot. He let go for a few seconds to grab two martinis from the table and handed one to Radar

"Take some of this, it may not taste great but you don't feel anything after a few of these." Trapper said as he swung his arm around Radar again

Radar managed to drink 4 before Hawkeye came in and saw the sleeping form of Radar with a martini glass held halfway in his hand passed out on Frank's cot, "Trap, what's the kid doing in here?" he whispered

"Poor kid got sick and started crying during post-op. I came out and found him and offered him a drink. He managed four before he passed out from drink and tears. I'd take him to bed but I'm to tanked to carry him back to his bed without dropping him. Wanna do me a favor Hawk?" Trapper said as he slumped on his own bed

"Sure, I owe the kid. He saved me from being squashed by a jeep this morning with his ESP. I'll be back in a few minutes." Hawkeye said as he picked up the small Corporal in his arms

Radar mumbled as he was carried across the compound, "Nah ma, I did good today. I got a gold star." 

As Hawkeye tucked in the Corporal he smiled, "You sure did kid." Hawk's smile grew when he saw a teddy bear sticking out from under the bed. He put the bear under Radar's arm, "You got a gold star and an A+."

Radar smiled as Hawkeye left and snuggled with the bear in his arms.

The next morning Radar got up and when he found Henry Blake was not up yet he went to wake him. When he entered the room he blushed and turned, "Colonel Blake sir, I'm sorry to interrupt you and the lady. But its time to wake up sir."

Henry got up and noticed his girlfriend was still there, "That's alright Radar, now get out."

Later at the office as soon as Blake came through the door he opened his mouth but Radar beat him to it by saying, "I didn't see nothing sir, just like you say."

Henry faulted, "Right…" then he walked into his office, "Radar." he turned to see Radar right behind him, "AHH, Radar, don't do that."

"Sorry sir, but I need you to sign these forms in triplicate, and then you need to initial these to show that you signed instead of initialed." Radar said as he held out some papers

"Thanks Radar, could you go…"

"And get your coffee and eggs from the mess tent and a paper from the mail bag, yes sir." Radar said as he left the room to get the items. After he was done he was finishing his looking around when he turned a corner and ran into someone so they both fell to the floor, "Hey, watch were your going buddy."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was a bit lost in thought." said a soft and tender voice.

Radar looked up and gasped at seeing a man in army pants and jacket but a black shirt with a white collar and a cross around his neck, "Oh gosh Father, I'm so sorry. If I'd have known you were a Father, Father I would never have said that." said Radar as he helped the Catholic priest to his feet, "Oh gee, your not hurt are ya?"

"No, no, I'm quite alright young man. I say, are you new to the 4077th?" Asked the Father

"Yes Father sir, I'm the new company clerk. My name is Corporal Radar O'Reilly." Radar said with a short salute

The Father returned the salute, "Radar, that's quite an interesting name."

"Oh, no Father, its my nickname. My real name is Walter but only my mom calls me that. You can call me Radar Father." Radar said as he followed the Father to the mess tent and stood in line with him

"Well that is interesting. Why do they call you Radar?" the Father asked

"Sometimes I know what's gonna happen before it happens. Like I know in about 4 seconds that bench there is gonna give out." Radar said pointing to a bench that held nobody on it. As Radar counted to four out loud someone came and sat down only to fall onto their back's as the bench gave out

The Father laughed, "My that is a neat trick Radar. Oh, how rude of me not to introduce myself. I'm Father Francis Mulcahy. Welcome to the Unit. I'm sure you'll do a fine job."

As they sat down to eat Radar realized he was sitting with Trapper and Hawkeye as well, "I'll do my best Father Mulcahy sir."

Later that day more wounded showed up and Radar did it all over again but this time for 10 straight hours. By the time he was done he was to exhausted to be sick. He stumbled into the main building and began to lie down in his uniform when he heard a sound from post-op just on the other side of the wall. He ran into the post-op to see a kid about his age struggling with his blankets and no one in the room. Radar ran over and took off the blanket but the soldier still thrashed around. Radar began to panic as the boy began to whimper in terror. Radar ran out of Post-op and straight to the Swamp, "Sir's, there's a problem with Private Jacobson in post-op. He keeps thrashing around and yelling."

Hawkeye jumped up and grabbed his robe, "Show me the way Radar."

When they got to the post-op the boy was thrashing so bad he had started to pull out his stitches and was now yelling, "No, go away, don't touch me."

"Radar, get the sedative, third drawers down in the green pan, hurry." said Hawkeye as he ran over and began to try and hold down the boy

"Yes sir." said Radar as he rushed over and got what he was told to get. He ran over and tried to hand it to Hawkeye

"I can't give it to him, I have to hold him. I just need you to poke it in his backside and them put it all in him. The needle goes in about half an inch. Hurry Radar before he pulls out all his stitches and his guts fall out." Hawkeye yelled

"Yes sir." responded Radar as he did as he was told, seconds later the man fell limp, "Wow, did I do that?"

"Good job Radar, now go scrub up." Hawkeye said

"Wait, what?" Radar said

"These stitches need replacing this instant and there is not time to get a nurse. Now I just need you to help me stitch him back up, not surgery."

"But I cant, I'm not a nurse." Radar said as all the color drained from his face

"You don't have a choice." Hawkeye grabbed Radar by the shoulders and looked him in the eye, "Radar you can do this."

About half an hour later Radar lay in his bunk, holding his bear and dreaming peacefully of how proud his mom would be of him. He didn't notice Captain Peirce standing over him, smiling as he tucked the boy in tighter, "God forgive me but your like the son I never had." Peirce bent down and kissed the top of Radars head and ruffled his hair as he would a child before going back to the Swamp to get some sleep


	3. Chapter 3

Radar woke that morning with a strange feeling in his gut, a sort of sharp pain. He ignored it for a few hours as he went about his duties. It was only a bit later when he stopped moving around to sit down and do some paperwork did it start to really bother him.

"Hey, Radar, you don't look so good." said Klinger as he walked in to deliver a form for Radar to have signed, "Are you in some kind of pain?"

"Yeah, my gut feels like it's being stabbed from the inside Klinger. What do you think it is?" Radar asked as Klinger helped Radar from his chair to his bed to lie down

"I don't know kid, I'll go get Coronal Blake to check you out." said Klinger as he went out to look for him

While Radar waited for Klinger to get back Father Mulcahy came into the office and when he saw Radar moaning in pain on his bunk he rushed to Radar's side, "Radar, what's wrong? Are you alright?"

"Father, I got a pain in my gut. It hurts real bad." Radar said as he began to sweat and felt a bit hot

Mulcahy held his hand to Radar's forehead and quickly withdrew it, "Radar, your burning up with fever. How long have you been in pain?"

"Since I got up this morning Father." Radar gasped out

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Cause I was busy and I had work to do." Radar said the last word loudly as his gut gave a bad pulse of pain, "Oh God it hurts."

Mulcahy grabbed Radar's hand and began to whisper things like, "It's all going to be alright." and, "Don't worry Radar." and, "You'll be just fine as soon as the doctor gets here." while praying for Radar's pain to stop. Seeing Radar like that reminded him of the orphans he cared for and he felt the same love for him as he did for them.

Radar was crying lightly from the pain, "Father, it feels like I'm gonna blow up. Please make the pain stop." Radar begged as the pain once again increased

Mulcahy made a sad face because he knew he could do nothing to help the pain. He knew Radar didn't really expect him to help, that it was the pain talking, but he still felt guilty. He began to run his fingers soothingly through Radar's damp hair, "I cant do anything for the pain but I wont leave you. I promise to stay with you the whole time my son."

Blake ran through the door with a white face, "Oh gosh, Radar." Henry ran over and began feeling his side. At one point Radar yelled so loud that everyone in camp must have heard him. This caused Henry to become panicked, "Get him prepped for surgery, its his appendix. And hurry, I think its about to blow."

When the corpsmen tried to take Mulcahy away Radar panicked, "No, he can't leave, he promised."

"I wont leave but I need to get clean so I can be in surgery with you. I promise I'll be right back."

The next thing Radar knew he was waking up in the post-op ward. At least he thought that's what it was because his glasses were missing, "Hello, is anyone there?" Radar asked 

"Yes Radar, it Father Mulcahy." Said a voice attached to a blurry face

"You didn't leave." Radar said with relief in his voice

"Of course not, I promised." said Mulcahy as he took one of Radar's hands and placed a pair of glasses into them, "I think you might need these."

"So what happened to me?" Radar asked as he sat up slowly and placed his glasses on his nose

"Well, as I understand it you had a case of appendicitis, pretty bad one at that. Your lucky Blake got to you as soon as he did." Mulcahy said with a smile on his face

"You mean I got operated on by a Coronal? Golly I feel honored." Radar said with a look of awe on his face.

Mulcahy was chuckling lightly when a beautiful blonde nurse came over to look at his chart. She had a posture of authority that left no doubt in Radar's mind as to who it was. Before he could speak she said, "That's strange, says here your not going back to the front. Why is that soldier."

Radar managed a weak salute before saying, "Cause I've never been there Major Houlihan sir, I mean ma'am.. I'm the company clerk for this unit, got in three days ago."

"Four actually, you've been out for a day Radar." said Father Mulcahy as he stood, "I'm going to leave you now because I have to get a few things done. Will you be alright without me Radar?"

"Yes Father, and thanks a bunch for taken care of me." Radar said

"Not at all my son." and as Father Mulcahy left the post-op ward he realized that he never felt those words held more truth to him

Major Houlihan sat down beside Radar and tried to pull back his blanket. Radar held it tight. This frustrated the major, "Corporal, why are you doing that?"

"Cause sir, you're a girl. I aint never had a girl try to look at me and I get a bit flustered." Radar said with a blush

"Don't be silly, I'm a nurse. Its my job to look at you and make sure your alright." said Major Houlihan with a warm smile, "Trust me, Radar was it?"

"Yes ma'am. I guess I'll trust you, you being a nurse and everything." Radar said as he released his blanket and shut his eyes tight

Major Houlihan just rolled her eyes but inside she was smiling as bright as the sun. This poor boy was so innocent and seemed to be 11 rather then 18. If she wasn't so patriotic she might want to send him home. But she was that patriotic and as she finished her examination she realized that everything was just fine, "Your healing wonderfully O'Reilly, should be better in a day or two."

"Thanks Major, I sure appreciate this." Radar said as he pulled the blanked back up to his neck, "Do you think I could get some clothes instead of this flimsy hospital thing I'm wearing?"

"I'll see what I can do." said Major Houlihan as she stood and went on to her next patient

Radar began to feel sleepy and before he could fight it he was deep in dream land.

The bombs were falling all around him. He ran in every direction but no matter where he went the bombs came down closer and closer. Then he found himself in the post-op ward and looking at so much blood. Suddenly the blood flooded the room and began to fill it like water. Radar tried to open the doors but they wouldn't move. Soon he was swimming in the red liquid and he could taste the copper of the blood. When the liquid reached the ceiling he was drowning in it.

Radar sat up in his bed, screaming bloody murder, crying. Next to him were Hawkeye, Henry Blake, Trapper, Klinger, and Father Mulcahy. For some reason he could still taste the copper of the blood he had been drowning in. he then saw Hawkeye was holding his hand, and that it was bleeding badly, "Oh gee sir, did I bite you?"

"Never mind that Radar, what in the world were you dreaming?" Hawkeye replied

"Yeah, I was out on guard duty and I heard you screaming your lungs out in your sleep." Klinger said with worry in his voice, "I went and got a few people that I thought might help."

"You were thrashing around and you looked like you might tear your stitches out." Trapper said, "It took both me and Hawk to hold you down."

"You became more panicked and bit Hawkeye." Mulcahy said calmly as he stroked Radar's hair in a fatherly manner

"Oh, gee, it was awful. There was bombs all over. And a room filling up with blood until I was drowning in it." the tears fell fresh from Radar's eyes. He sniffed and tried to hide the tears in shame, "I'm sorry, I'm such a baby."

Henry bent over Radar and gave him a small hug, "Go ahead Radar, let it all out. We've all done it from time to time, it gets to everyone."

Radar latched onto Henry and began to openly sob. Everyone but Henry left so that Radar could have this private moment with his replacement father, "Will I ever get used to it sir?"

"I'm sad to say that you will Radar. One day you'll wake up and this will all be just another day to you." Henry said as he rubbed Radar's back soothingly

"Sir," Radar sniffled, "Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure Radar. What do you want?" Henry asked

"Under my blanket is a…thing. It's my favorite thing in the whole world. I would really appreciate it if you could bring it to me…and keep it quiet. Its kinda a private thing." Radar whispered

"Sure Radar." Henry said as he left and quickly went to Radar's bed and pulled back the sheets. Upon seeing the small brown bear with a pink ribbon around its neck his stomach sank. This poor kid was more innocent then he had originally thought. He place a smile back on his face and raced back to Radar who clutched the bear as if it were a life line, "Feel better Radar?"

"Yes sir, and really tired." Radar said with a yawn, "Permission to pass out sir?"

"Permission granted Corporal. Sleep well, that's an order." Henry said as he tucked Radar in

"Will do sir." said Radar with another yawn as his eyes closed and he drifted off in to a mercifully dreamless sleep


	4. Chapter 4

Radar spent the next few days resting and doing his job when he felt good enough to do it. Soon the dreams stopped as well as the pain. He stopped getting drunk when he found his new friend. It was a small wild mouse that kept running into walls as if he didn't see them. Radar figured he must have an eye problem and decided to do something he hopped he wouldn't regret.

"Coronal Blake sir, can I ask you a favor?" Radar asked with his hands behind his back and his glasses hidden in his front pocket

"What is it Radar?" Blake asked without looking up from his magazine

"I need you to sign this requisition for a new pair of glasses. Mine broke ya see." Radar pointed to his face as proof

"Radar, this size is to small for anyone to wear. Why in the world would you order these?" Blake said unconvinced

"Oh, gee sir, you got me. Its not me that needs the glasses, its Elroy." Radar said quietly as he used one hand to put his glasses back on, keeping something hidden with the other

"Who in blue blazes is Elroy?" Henry asked

Radar sighed as he took his hand out from behind his back to show a small field mouse, "This is Elroy sir."

"Radar, why does the mouse need glasses?" Henry asked

"Well cause, Coronal Blake sir, he cant see so good. I figure if he had glasses he would see better, see sir?" Radar asked as he put the mouse into his front shirt pocket

"Radar," sighed Blake, "you can't fit glasses for a mouse. Its not military and we could get in real trouble. Besides, you cant keep pets." Henry said as if begging Radar to understand

And to Henry's luck Radar asked, "But why Coronal sir? Elroy would make a good pet and he really belongs to the army anyways. See, I found him in the kitchen." then Radar did what Henry had feared he would do. He looked up at Blake with big round eyes, moist with unshed tears and said, "Please sir, I just want one pet."

This melted Henry's heart and without a miss he said, "Alright Radar, but just the one alright?"

"Of course sir. Just the one." Radar said with a smile

Over the next few weeks Radar could be seen going off into the near by brush at least twice everyday. Usually he was carrying a tray of fruit and vegetables with him. Hawkeye and Trapper had noticed this and were having yet another theory discussion in the Swamp.

"I think he's going off to feed the snipers." Trapper said, "You know how he feels bad for every person who needs help, weather they're shooting at him or not."

"No way, we had that talk. He understands how dangerous that is. I think he has his own sweetheart hidden back there." Hawkeye said

"Nurse or a Korean?"

"Korean I think. I would know if it was a nurse." Hawkeye said as he refilled his glass

"Oh really, how's that?" Trapper asked with a chuckle

"Cause I know all the nurses personally and none of them like shorter men." Hawkeye said matter-of-factly

"Well why don't we go check it out." Trapper said as he pointed at Radar who was walking away from camp with a tray filled with fruit and vegetables

"Time to play spy my dear Trap." said Hawkeye as he slunk out of the tent with Trapper right behind him

They followed Radar right up to the edge of the bushes and then just outside of a known thicket when they heard him speak, "Hey Lu Lu, how you doing?"

"I told you, the little devil." said Hawkeye

"Hey Millie, you want some?" Radar said

Both Captain's eyes grew, "I'll be damned, he's got two of them." Trapper whispered

"Now come on Fred, you gotta eat something." Radar said in a worried tone

"Now that tears it." said Hawkeye as he and Trapper burst into the thicket, "Radar, what on Earth…Oh my God. You have GOT to be kidding me with this."

Before them stood Radar with a dear in headlights look on his face. In one hand he held the tray and in the other was a piece of carrot that was sticking through a wall of chicken wire. Behind the chicken wire was about five crates stacked on top of each other. Inside each crate was a small animal. Currently Radar was trying to feed a rabbit, "This isn't what it looks like sirs, honest."

"Radar, what are you doing?" Trapper asked with a sigh as he and Hawkeye came closer to look at the animals

"Well gosh sirs, I just missed all my pets back home so I guess I started collecting new ones. Coronal Blake said I could only have one but I just cant do that. So I figured I would just hide them instead." Radar looked at the ground in shame, "Are you sirs gonna tell on me?"

Both Trapper and Hawkeye chuckled, "First off, tattling is for kids Radar." said Trapper as he petted a skunk through the wire, "And second, I didn't see a thing. What about you Hawk?"

"Not a thing." Said Hawkeye as he petted a baby raccoon that nuzzled his hand

"Well you two louts might not have seen anything but I sure as sugar did." said a new voice

They all turned to see an irate Frank Burns standing a few feet away with a satisfied smirk on his face, "Your all gonna be in big trouble when I tell Coronal Blake about this."

While Hawkeye and Trapper just frowned Radar freaked out, "No sir Major Burns sir, please, you cant."

Burns turned to leave with the trio following close behind, "And why is that Corporal?"

"Cause those animals are my friends." Radar said with a whimper

"Those things are infested with disease and germs. You'll give us all the plague." Burns said as he didn't break his stride

"But I vaccinated them already." Radar said before he realized his mistake

"You used OUR medical supplies on your pathetic little pets?" Frank said as he turned and stared down at Radar with an angry glare

"Aw come on Frank, the kid just wanted some pets." Trapper said

"Yeah, what's the harm?" Hawkeye said with a smile

"That does it." said Burns as he ran quickly to the main building with the trio hot on his tail. He burst into Blake's office, causing the man to almost spill his drink, "Coronal Blake, I have a discrepancy to report against Corporal O'Reilly."

"What could Radar have possibly done to deserve that?" Blake asked

"Did you give the Corporal permission to keep pets?" Burns asked

"I told him he could keep a little mouse, what's the big deal?"

"Did you also tell him he could keep a rabbit, skunk, raccoon, and a squirrel as well sir?"

"RADAR." Blake yelled

"Right here sir." said Radar as he trudged into the room with Hawkeye and Trapper right behind him

"Radar, is this true?"

"Yes sir."

"Go easy on the kid Henry, he just missed his pets back home." said Trapper

"Yeah, let the shrimp keep his pets. He needs people around his own size." Hawkeye said with a smile

Radar made a slightly distressed face and muttered, "Cut that out."

Henry sighed, "Radar, why did you do this?"

"It's like this sir, I miss my pets back home so I started to collect new ones here and I think they like me. Please don't make me put them out. I got a baby raccoon that's mommy got hit by a jeep, a rabbit that broke his front paw, and that squirrel has tummy trouble. Plus the skunk cant squirt his stink cause his tail got run over. They can't fend for themselves." at this point Radar looked close to tears

Henry sniffed and wiped something from his eye, "Alright, they can stay, but move them into the compound so I can keep an eye on all of you."

Radar's smile was so big it was a surprise his face didn't crack in two. He gave a salute, "Yes Coronal Blake sir."

"But sir…" Burns started to protest

"Oh, stuff it Frank." said Hawkeye as he and Trapper left to help Radar move his new animal friends.


End file.
